Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Hello, my name is Ewala. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Ewala, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. …but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I’ll replace it, and give you a full refund… no questions asked! But that’s not the point. The point is I am battery operated. Well, actually I am not.
Frogs enjoying their time in summer
But that’s not the point. What is the point?
“The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box. Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon.
Woman and sunset
So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Wellington, south of Arizona and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
“I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?” said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That’s right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story. I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened! I FOUND IT!!! Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn’t like them, so I don’t know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face. But I don’t like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it’s flesh. The bacon wasn’t happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it’s inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss… That was where he found himself. Joe Lopo was a man of mild temperament, short stature, and had the goal to become the world’s fastest telephone eater. Though Lopo never knew even basic physics, he created a telescope capable of sighting the smallest hair on an alien who lived quite a few lightyears away. Joe Lopo quickly destroyed a large boulder and used the shattered remains to form eight small statues that strongly
Statue of Liberty
resembled tiny creatures being or related to the water flea. He placed them in a circular pattern to form a sort of shrine and placed the telescope in the middle of it. He then channeled the power of the stone water fleas into the telescope to view the power of the heavens. He was in a trance with the beauty of the mysterious dimension and didn’t even notice the very large tornado heading toward him. He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day…. Oh …what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me. Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness. Me and my sadness. Me, and my bacon.
Once upon a time in the land of Fliggimites lived a happy little thing by the name of Joseph. Joseph once decided to go on an adventure and go atop the great mountain of Floosh to annoy the red dragon. And so he left, with his pal, Gandaarghlee the wizard, to Mount Floosh. Along the way he stole the golden toe ring of a guy named Walmart, and met many trolls and elves and dwarves and other odd mutated humanoid creatures, including this one guy made out of bologna that we didn’t like very much, so we laughed at him and he was sad. So we finally reached the mountan of Floosh and hiked up to the top. Then the red dragon appeared and tossed us in the firy lava pit on the top, which hurt a lot, but by some chance we won the battle and were very happy, and then we hiked back home, but Walmart trapped us and ate us.
Uber tem regras confusas que proíbem modelos específicos, mas autorizam concorrentes. Caso do Honda HR-V, que pode ser UberBlack, mas o Jeep Renegade não. Veja a lista de carros
Uber tem lista de carros aceitos em cada categoria
A Uber divulgou nesta semana uma lista de carros aceitos para cadastro no serviço nas categorias UberX e UberBlack em 2016. A empresa atribui como atividade fim a “carona remunerada” e permite que qualquer pessoa com carteira de habilitação profissional vire um colaborador, cadastrando o veículo próprio para transportar passageiros.
Os modelos são divididos nas categorias UberX e UberBlack, com diferença na tarifa mais cara na opção por carros mais luxuosos. No entanto, a Uber propõe uma seleção confusa, em que proíbe determinados modelos, mas autoriza concorrentes da mesma categoria.
Para UberX, podem se inscrever motoristas com veículos a partir do ano/modelo 2008, com carroceria quatro portas, cinco lugares e ar-condicionado. A Uber não aceita picapes, como Fiat Strada ou Volkswagen Saveiro e minivans chinesas Changan, CN Auto e Effa. Também estão vetados Ford Transit, Kia Besta, Volkswagen Kombi e as multivans Peugeot Partner e Renault Kangoo. No entanto, Honda Fit, Chevrolet Spin, Fiat Doblò e Nissan Grand Livina estão autorizados.
Na categoria UberBlack, os veículos devem ser ano/modelo superior a 2010, carroceria quatro portas, cinco lugares, bancos de couro e ar-condicionado. O serviço está presente em Belo Horizonte, Brasília, Rio de Janeiro e São Paulo. Para cada cidade, há uma lista de modelos ‘homologados’.
Em Belo Horizonte, por exemplo, o único modelo Fiat que pode ser qualificado na categoria é a Freemont. Na Volkswagen, é permitido Jetta, Passat e Tiguan, mas não o Golf. Entre os Ford, está previsto o Focus Sedan e o Fusion.
Numa das incoerências, um Honda HR-V modelo 2016 pode ser UberBlack. Já o Jeep Renegade ou Ford EcoSport não estão qualificados. Curiosamente, estão qualificados modelos de alto luxo, como o Porsche Cayenne, BMW Série 5 ou o Mercedes-Benz Classe E.
Além do veículo, o candidato do motorista é avaliado nos antecedentes criminais, enquanto os veículos devem estar com documentação em dia e ter uma apólice de seguro com cobertura APP (Acidentes Pessoais a Passageiros) a partir de R$ 50 mil. A empresa afirma que casos específicos podem ser avaliados e um modelo de categoria superior pode ser aceito no UberBlack.
Oferecendo um seviço semelhante aos dos táxis, mas com preço inferior, a Uber comprou briga com a categoria no país inteiro. Em janeiro deste ano, a Prefeitura de Belo Horizonte sancionou uma lei que proíbe a Uber, determinando que os aplicativos de transporte pago de passageiros só poderão operar na capital mineira se usarem mão de obra de motoristas licenciados pela BHTrans. Apesar disso, a Uber continua operando na cidade.
Procurando um novo SUV de luxo, mas quer fugir do ‘lugar comum’ de BMW X3 ou Range Rover Evoque? Uma alternativa é o Lexus NX 200t, da marca japonesa que pretende ampliar espaço no Brasil. Por enquanto ainda é uma opção pouco usual, mas que garante uma boa dose exclusividade pelas ruas.
Para os iniciados, um pequeno guia da marca: todos os modelos são batizados com uma sigla de duas letras, seguida de três numerais. Neste caso, o ‘NX’ indica um ‘Nimble Crossover’ (crossover ágil), enquanto a centena revela o tamanho do motor. Logo o ‘200t’ refere-se ao bloco 2.0 turbo a gasolina, capaz de render até 238 cv.
Importado do Japão, o veículo está disponível com preços a partir de R$ 223 mil, que é versão ‘Luxury’. Também está em oferta a versão topo de linha F-Sport, com o mesmo powertrain, mas com detalhes exclusivos de acabamento e mais itens de série. O NX 200t está abaixo do RX 350, modelo já testado pelo Vrum.
Estilo
O veículo tem estilo exótico e exibe a mais nova linguagem da marca, em especial com o formato incomum na grade dianteira, a Spindle Grille, em formato de trapézio, ladeada por luzes diurnas de LED em L. Por qualquer ângulo que se olhe, o SUV tem linhas agressivas e vincos marcantes. Mesmo na pacata cor prata do veículo que aparece nas fotos e vídeo, o modelo chama bastante atenção por onde passa.
Além das luzes diurnas, todo conjunto dos faróis possui a tecnologia Full-LED, agrupados em três canhões em cada peça. A mesma solução é aplicada nas lanternas traseiras, novamente no formato de L. Na lateral, as rodas de alumínio são de 17 polegadas.
No interior, nada do estilo convencional da maioria dos SUVs. O veículo japonês abusa mais uma vez dos ângulos e cortes. O console central é emoldurado por um acabamento de aço que repete o formato Spindle Grille da grade dianteira.
O design incomum faz casamento com soluções típicas de produtos de luxo, com plásticos de qualidade e agradáveis ao toque com apliques em couro no painel, portas e console. A central multimídia também tem um detalhe ímpar: a operação é feita por um touchpad, semelhante aos dos notebooks. O topo do console, entre os difusores de ar, surge um relógio analógico.
Vida a bordo
Em busca do cliente com alto poder aquisitivo e disposto a comprar modelos já tradicionais no mercado como Audi, BMW ou Mercedes-Benz, a Lexus não mediu esforços para criar um interior sofisticado e com excelente acabamento. Esse cuidado se reflete nos mínimos detalhes, como o logotipo da marca gravado em parafusos nas laterais do console central.
Motorista e passageiro da frente tem controles elétricos para ajustar os bancos, que são de couro perfurado. O condutor ainda conta com o sistema smart entry: o banco recua para facilitar o acesso, além da possibilidade de travar e destravar as portas e ligar o motor com a chave no bolso. Para completar, até o ajuste do volante é feito eletricamente.
Os comandos de seta, vidros e retrovisores elétricos estão bem à mão do motorista, assim como os ajustes no console central, do sistema multimídia e ar-condicionado. O freio de estacionamento é elétrico, operado por um botão, enquanto a tela de 7” é operada num pad semelhante aos notebooks. A iluminação interna dianteira tem outro mimo: é ligada por controles touchscreen.
A turma de do banco de trás viaja com conforto, especialmente com dois passageiros, pois o veículo não nega sua origem de SUV compacto. O encosto pode ser regulado na proporção 2+3, melhorando ainda mais a experiência de viagem. Nesse ponto do veículo, porém a iluminação dedicada é convencional, ou seja, ligada por botões. O carro oferece sistema isofix para fixação de cadeirinhas infantis.
Um ponto negativo desta versão Luxury é o teto solar, bem simples para a proposta do modelo. No pacote F-Sport, o NX200t ganha um outro teto panorâmico, que cobre praticamente toda parte superior, com o incremento de R$ 20 mil. Mas, é claro, com vários outros itens exclusivos e equipamentos de série.
A tampa do porta malas pode ser aberta e fechada eletricamente, com comando na chave ou num botão interno. No espaço, 580 litros para bagagem, segundo dados do fabricante.
Ao volante
O SUV japonês é equipado com um 2.0 16V turbo com injeção direta capaz de render até 238 cavalos a 5.600 rotações, enquanto o torque fica nos 35,7 kgf.m, disponíveis entre 1.650 rpm e 4.000 rpm, com o veículo que é abastecido somente com gasolina. O propulsor possui sistema de controle das válvulas e cabeçote integrado ao coletor de escape.
O câmbio é automático de seis velocidades, com opção de trocas manuais na alavanca de câmbio ou borboletas atrás do volante. A tração é integral permanente e o carro oferece três modos de operação: Eco, Auto e Sport, ajustando parâmetros do NX para ser mais econômico ou privilegiar o desempenho. Com o pacote F-Sport, aparece mais um modo, o Sport+.
O motor silencioso esconde a vocação para acelerar do conjunto powertrain. O NX200t consegue trafegar calmamente, mas a qualquer ímpeto do acelerador, responde com vigor garantido boa aceleração e retomada em ultrapassagens. Ao mesmo tempo, a suspensão (dianteira tipo McPherson, traseira Double Wishbone) proporciona uma ótimo conforto interno, mesmo nas nossas pistas esburacadas. O sistema dá uma boa sensação de segurança, mesmo em curvas mais fechadas.
Porém, não espere um veículo econômico. Mesmo com um moderno conjunto mecânico e auxílio do turbocompressor, o NX200t acaba bebendo bastante, especialmente se o motorista abusar no modo Sport. Segundo números oficiais do Inmetro, o SUV faz 8,6 km/l na cidade e 10 km/l na estrada, categoria D na média geral (e A no mesmo segmento). Em nossos testes, no entanto, trafegando em horário de pico não passou dos 5,7 km/l e em alguns momentos marcou 4,5 km/l. Num trecho da BR-040 fez 8,0 km/l.
Conclusão
O Lexus NX 200t é uma boa opção para quer um SUV compacto de luxo e está cansado do visual de veículos das outras montadoras. Ele tem estilo arrojado que chama muito a atenção por onde passa. Também oferece bom desempenho, muito conforto e diversos mimos para condutor e passageiros.
O japonês tem motorização superior ao X3 xdrive 20i (R$ 212.511,00) e equivalente ao Range Rover Evoque SE, ambos na versão 2.0 a gasolina (R$ 209.450,00). O pacote de equipamentos de conforto e segurança é semelhante ao dos rivais. Há ainda concorrentes como o Audi Q3 2.0 TFSI Quattro S-tronic (R$ 191.488,00) e o Mercedes-Benz GLA 250 2.0 211 cv (R$ 192.333,00).
Porém o NX200t é mais caro que os modelos citados. Esta versão que aparece nas fotos vale R$ 223.000,00, enquanto o modelo com pacote F-Sport sobe para R$ 243.000,00. Assim, o japonês se configura como uma escolha para quem deseja se diferenciar ainda mais da multidão e não se importa em pagar pelo menos R$ 10 mil a mais por isso. O incremento no cheque vai se transformar num apelo por design exótico, sem abrir mão de desempenho e luxo.
FICHA TÉCNICA:
LEXUS NX200T
Motor: gasolina, dianteiro, transversal, 1.998 cm³, quatro cilindros em linha, quatro válvulas por cilindro, turbocompressor, intercooler, comando duplo no cabeçote e duplo comando variável de válvulas. Acelerador eletrônico e injeção direta. Transmissão: Automática com seis velocidades. Tração integral. Oferece controle de tração. Potência: 238 cv a 5.600 rpm. Torque: 35,7 kgfm entre 1.650 e 4 mil rpm. Desempenho: Aceleração de 0 a 100 km/h: 7,2 segundos.Velocidade máxima: 200 km/h. Suspensão: Dianteira independente do tipo multilink e traseira independente do double wishbone. Sistema de suspensão adaptativo variável na versão F-Sport. Pneus: 225/65 R7 (235/55 R18 na F-Sport). Freios: Discos ventilados na frente e sólidos atrás. ABS com EBD de série. Dimensões: 4,63 metros de comprimento, 1,84 m de largura, 1,64 m de altura e 2,66 m de distância entre-eixos. Massa: 1.850 kg em ordem de marcha. Porta-malas: 580 litros. Tanque de combustível: 60 litros.
ITENS DE SÉRIE: Airbags frontais, quatro laterais, de cortina e de joelho para o motorista e passageiro de série, revestimento em couro no volante, manopla de transmissão, painel central, console central, portas e bancos, revestimento em madeira no painel central e portas, spoiler traseiro, barras longitudinais no teto em alumínio, escapamento duplo, lanternas traseiras de leds, luzes diurnas, faróis e lanternas e de neblina em leds, maçanetas com leds de iluminação, ar-condicionado dual zone, bancos dianteiros com regulagem elétrica, bancos dianteiros com sistema de aquecimento e resfriamento, computador de bordo com funções de consumo instantâneo, consumo médio, autonomia, velocidade média, temperatura externa, indicador de marcha, pressão dos pneus, informações de áudio e navegação GPS, cruise control, espelho retrovisor eletrocrômico, retrovisores externos com iluminação, regulagem elétrica, sistema de aquecimento automático, indicadores de direção, memória, antiofuscante e recurso tilt down, porta-malas com abertura e fechamento elétricos, seleção de modo de condução (Eco, Normal, Sport), hill-assist, sistema multimídia com tela de LCD de sete polegadas com TV digital, GPS, entradas USB/Aux, Bluetooth, rádio, DVD, MP3/WMA e touchpad, botão de partida, teto solar elétrico com sistema antiesmagamento e acionamento por um toque, volante multifuncional, dez airbags, sensor de chuva, rodas de liga leve de 17 polegadas, sensores de estacionamento dianteiros e traseiros e controles eletrônicos de tração e estabilidade.
LEXUS NX200T F-SPORT: inclui rodas de liga leve de 18 polegadas, revestimento em aço escovado no painel central e portas, grade frontal em formato colmeia, ajuste elétrico do banco de motorista para lombar, função de força G e pressão do turbo no computador de bordo, head-up display, modo de condução Sport+, suspensão adaptativa e teto panorâmico.
